meet me under the big oak tree

There is something symbolic and beautiful about getting married under a huge tree.  And it makes for some gorgeous wedding photos!

Cooper Carras via Once Wed

Lisa Lefkowitz

Millie Holloman

Ian Grant

Jonas Peterson via 100 Layer Cake

Jonathon Campbell

Jose Villa

via Green Wedding Shoes

Clayton Austin via Weddings by Color

Wedding Ceremony - Butterfly Garden Biltmore Estate

Our ceremony location, the Butterfly Garden at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville.    A beautiful late afternoon in October.    We were so incredibly lucky with the weather that weekend.   In my pre-wedding weather stalking, there were constant reports of snow, rain and ice storms, none of which transpired!    We did prepare by stocking up on last minute blankets for our guests which we didn't need either, but better to be prepared than not!

I asked my dad and my brother to walk me down the aisle.    Partially due to the stairs and the four inch heels, but mostly because I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.    

Finally!

Photography by Visio Photography

Pro Pictures: Ceremony

Wedding Ceremony

Well, our wedding is finally complete (except for the part where we're writing the vows ourselves).  I love it and I think it fits us perfectly.  I wrote parts, then I stole parts from other ceremonies, and then my officiant wrote parts.


Ashley and Jason want to extend their gratitude to all of you that have gathered here for this joyous event.  With unfaltering determination, this day has been planned to the infinite detail.  You, as witnesses, have the honor and pleasure of experiencing the fruits of their labor.

Bryan C**** will now lead you in prayer.  Please bow your heads.

  Jason and Ashley, you both need to enjoy today.  Wrap yourselves in the love this day brings, and accept all that this day has to offer.  Take a deep breath, your journey begins now.

Your marriage can be all that you have dreamed.  Honor and respect should be the cornerstones to the foundation of love and trust. Don’t let the time come when you think to yourself…”Have I told you lately…..”?

Jason, do you affirm your desire and intention to enter into this marriage?

I do.

Ashley, do you affirm your desire and intention to enter into this marriage?

I do.

Please turn to each other and take a good look at the person who looks back at you.  True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly lies.  With all the work that you have put into this relationship, it will now require extra dedication and a new resolve.

 

Jason: I love....

I love...

I love...

I promise...

I promise...

I promise...

Ashley: I love...

I love...

I love...

I promise...

I promise...

I promise...

Jason, please repeat after me

I, Jason

Take you, Ashley,

To be my wife.

To have and to hold

From this day forward

For better, for worse

For richer, for poorer

In sickness and in health

To love and to cherish

As long as we both shall live.

Ashley, please repeat after me

I, Ashley

Take you, Jason,

To be my husband.

To have and to hold

From this day forward

For better, for worse

For richer, for poorer

In sickness and in health

To love and to cherish

As long as we both shall live.

Sebastian S**** will now be reading

The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love.  Being true to your hearts, you are committing yourselves to one another.

Jason, place the ring on Ashley's finger and repeat after me

It is my honor

That you wear this ring

I commit to you

My heart and soul.

Please wear this ring

As a symbol

Of the vows we have spoken today.

Ashley, place the ring on Jason's finger and repeat after me

It is my honor

That you wear this ring

I commit to you

My heart and soul.

Please wear this ring

As a symbol

Of the vows we have spoken today.

Jason, please take Ashley’s engagement ring.  This ring was given as a symbol of promise and intention.  Now that the intention is realized and the promise fulfilled, this ring goes over her wedding band to symbolize that the love that brought you together will always protect and sustain your marriage.

Sand Ceremony

Jason and Ashley, as these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together, as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be, united as one for all of your days.

Remember that deep breath you took at the beginning of the ceremony?  When you are faced with a task in the days ahead, take a breath.  When there is tension in the air, take a breath.  And late at night when you can’t quite believe that your “spouse” is beside you…take a moment to catch your breath.

Inasmuch as Jason and Ashley have this day consented together, in holy wedlock, and have given a pledged their love to one another in front of these witnesses, by virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the state of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Jason, you may kiss your bride.

It is my distinct honor and privilege to present for the very first time

Mr. and Mrs. Jason and Ashley C****

Aisle Decorations

I was originally going to line our aisle with shepards hooks holding lanterns.  Well, I decided I wanted rose petals to do our aisle instead. 

Here's our ceremony site.

I was originally just going to line the aisle with petals, until my coordinator sent me this picture.  I'm in love!

My coordinators are going to decorate the aisle like this shortly before the guests show up.  I can't wait to see how it turns out! 

Ceremony Music List

I am control freak very detail oriented, so I have to be in charge of the music the DJ is playing.  I'm not going to completely control what he plays, but I am going to give suggestions and decide on the important songs.

So, here's what I've come up with for the ceremony so far.  I'm still not 100% sure that I want our recessional song to be a modern song or whether I want to keep it traditional.  That's the area that I'm wavering on a little.

Prelude
"A Whole New World" -- Aladdin
"Can You Feel the Love Tonight" -- Lion King
"Seasons of Love" -- Rent

Bridal party entrance
"Jesu, Joy of Man's Desire"

Bride's entrance
"Canon in D"

Recessional
"Accidentally in Love" -- Counting Crows

What is the recessional for your wedding?

Vows

I haven't talked much about the ceremony here.  The reason for that...well, I can't for the life of me figure out what I want.  It's the most important part of the day and it's the one thing I've having a heck of a time with.

J wants traditional vows.

I would like traditional vows, but I want to incorporate something more modern as well.

I found these vows from Oct/Nov 2009 issue of Modern Bride and I'm in love.  The bride and groom each wrote their own vows, but I'm just going to type of the bride's because it's shorter.  If you would like to see both sets, check out page 176 of this issue.  The last line is the same in both sets of the vows.

Matt, I love you because you care for me like no one else in the world.  You make me feel loved, safe, and beautiful.  
I love you because you always take the burnt piece of French toast and let me have the one that's cooked perfectly.
I love your deep belief in me as a person and as a partner.
I promise to keep both of us in view, to remain flexible as we build the rest of our lives around one another's needs and happiness.
I promise to be here, to be the one to help you stay grounded, to be the one you come home to, in the biggest sense of that word.
I promise to always encourage you to be your fullest self, and I will gratefully accept the same in return.
I promise to continue our efforts to build a relationship founded on deep respect for partnership.
I promise to always believe in you, and in this marriage.

I really love this idea and would love to figure out a way to incorporate it into our ceremony along with the traditional "...In sickness and in health, till death do us part..."  I'm thinking if I can't find a way to incorporate it, then we can each write these into our cards to each other.  Any ideas?

DIY Wedding Direction Sign

This was an easy project and there's not really a tutorial for it.  Since our guests have to walk down a path from the parking lot to the ceremony site, I wanted to make sure there was a sign directing them to the correct location.

Here was my inspiration.

Since we're using chalkboards as part of our reception, I thought making the sign a chalkboard would be a cute way to tie that together.  I came across the arrow at the Dollar Tree.  It was originally a sign for a tiki bar, but after I painted it, you have no clue.  I painted it with a couple layers of black paint and then put some chalkboard paint on it.  Then, I just wrote wedding on it in chalk.  I'm going to have someone with prettier writing write on it the day of the wedding.

 

I'm going to hang it on a tree near the parking lot.  It was a quick simple project and it will do it's job perfectly.

Total Cost: $1

All I had to buy was the sign.  I had the chalkboard paint leftover from the chalkboard menus I made a while back and J brought the chalk home from work.

I submitted this project to the CSI Project:

Choosing your Ceremony Style

Obviously the most important part of your wedding day is the wedding ceremony itself (the part that actually makes you married)!  There are many types and styles of wedding ceremonies, and these days couples are essentially designing their own.  My husband and I did that.  We had already selected a beautiful outdoor venue but were denied by the Catholic Church to be able to have a priest perform a Catholic ceremony outside of a church.  So we decided to do our own thing in the venue we wanted, which we think turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened because it allowed us to completely personalize our ceremony and made it more meaningful for us.  At first we wanted to have someone we knew well marry us, but we also weren't 100% comfortable with asking someone who wasn't experienced in performing weddings to marry us just because they knew us.  In the end, we chose someone recommended to us by our venue, who turned out to be wonderful and just what we wanted in an officiant.

We then went to work deciding on the ceremony content.  We knew we wanted it to last about 30 minutes, not too long but not over in a flash.  We wanted a couple of meaningful readings.  We didn't want to write our own vows (too many nerves, emotions, and pressure!) but didn't want to say the traditional vows either.  We wanted to incorporate ideas that set our ceremony apart from the countless weddings we see on TV and have all been to...we wanted it to be more "us."  And we wanted to include our guests.  And after it was all said and done (literally) we had a beautiful, emotional, and sincere ceremony.  Isn't that the point?

Anyone who tells you that you can't do or say something you want to do or say in YOUR wedding should, in my humble opinion, be ignored.  Listen to what your heart tells you that you want to do and say.  It is your wedding, after all...

Here is a basic outline of what our ceremony consisted of, which was combined with our officiant's remarks:

-Warming of the Rings (Also called a Ringwarming Ceremony.  This was done during the prelude music prior to the ceremony.  Our rings were passed around all of our guests in a bird's nest and guests were asked to place their good thoughts and blessings on them)

The wedding rings are the strongest and most visable sign of the bond these two people are about to make. As these rings are passed amongst you, please hold them and give them your personal blessings. The ring warming means the rings will not only be a gift from the bride and groom to each other, but will be given with the love, support, and wisdom of all present.

-Prelude Music
-Processional
-Welcome Remarks and Opening Prayer (written and said by our officiant)

-First Reading:  “Why Marriage” by Mari Nichols-Haining, read by a family friend:
Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,

With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...
Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me...
Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold...
Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship...
Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements...
Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole...
Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage...
Because of this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.

-Group Declaration of Support for the Couple: (Guests respond by saying "We Do")
As family and friends,

You form a community of support
That surrounds ________ and _________
Each of you, by your presence here today
Is being called upon
To uphold them in loving each other
Always stand beside them, never between them
Offer them your love and your support
Not your judgment
Encourage them when encouragement is needed
And listen to them when they ask for advice
In these ways, you can honor this marriage
Into which they have come to be joined today
Do you offer your love and support
To strengthen their marriage
And bless this family created by their union?

{We Do.}

-Exchange of Vows:
I, bride/groom take you, groom/bride, to be my husband/wife, my constant friend, and my love from this day forward. I vow to be your faithful partner, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in joy as well as sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, and to cherish and respect you. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.

-Exchange of Rings:
Groom, take Bride’s ring and place it on her finger and repeat after me:


I give you this ring as a sign that I choose you
To be my lover, my partner and my best friend, to the end of my days
Wear it, think of me, and know that I love you

Bride, take Grooms’s ring and place it on his finger and repeat after me:
I give you this ring as a sign that I choose you
To be my lover, my partner and my best friend, to the end of my days
Wear it, think of me, and know that I love you

-Second Reading:  A poem written for the couple and read by a family friend 
-Priestly Blessing
-Introduction of the Couple
-Recessional

Music is another important element (I think) in your wedding ceremony, so I am going to devote a future post just to the music itself.

 And because every post is better with a picture, here is one of our dear family friend and adopted grandmother Norma, reading the poem she wrote for us during our wedding:

Photo by Jennifer Roper

Ceremony Reading

Since we only have a few more months to go, I figured I needed to start working on the ceremony.  We're meeting with the officiant at the beginning of January, so I'm starting to pull together ideas.  Here's a reading that I thought would go nicely.

We're going to ask the husband of one of my bridesmaids to read it.

"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –This is my husband. This is my wife. "

J's Wedding Band

We finally bought J's wedding band. MyPoints was offering a special of 10 points per $1 you spend at Overstock.com, so we decided it was the perfect time to buy it. If you're not a MyPoints member, you definitely should be. Every time you buy stuff from certain stores, you get points. You also get points for reading emails. You can use your points to get giftcards. It's awesome!

But, back to the ring. We saw almost this exact same ring in Kay for $400. We found it on Overstock for $67! I can't wait until it gets here so we can actually see the real thing.

JK Wedding Entrance Dance (Hilarious!!)

This video has me in stitches!!! There are no words! My hubby loves it!!

Wedding Planning Guide: The Wedding Ceremony

Q. My parents are divorced and each has remarried. Where do my parents sit in the church?
A. The same procedure applies to both the bride's and the groom's parents, with the bride's parents' seating arrangement on the left side of the aisle and the groom's parents on the right side.

Your mother and stepfather sit in the front pew with members of your mother's immediate family— grandparents, aunts and uncles-immediately behind them. If your parents have remained on friendly terms, your father sits in the next pew back with his wife and their family members.

If your parents have not remained on friendly terms but you are close to both of them, it is more difficult. Your mother still sits in the front pew, but your father would sit two or three rows further back. If you have been living with your father and stepmother and have had little to do with your own mother, your father and your stepmother sit in the front pew and your mother sits further back.

Q. Do friends of the bride always sit on one side of the church and friends of the groom on the other?
A. They usually do. The left side of the church is the bride's; the right side the groom's. At weddings where the great majority of guests are friends of one family or the other, the ushers, may ask. some of them if they would mind sitting on the other side. This not only makes the congregation look more balanced but offers more guests the desirable seats near the aisle.

Q. Does the mother of the bride (or groom) wear a coat as she walks up the aisle when the weather is cold?
A. No. As a rule, the mothers leave their outerwear in the vestibule of the church so as not to spoil the effect of their dress. If the church is cold, they may have their coats put in the pews by an usher ahead of time, to be thrown over their shoulders during the ceremony.

Q. Can anyone be seated after the bride's mother is escorted up the aisle?
A. No. If people arrive after that, they must stand in the vestibule, go to the balcony or slip into a rear pew from a side aisle.

Q. What is the order of attendants in the processional?
A. The ushers lead the procession, walking two by two, the shortest men first. Junior ushers follow the adults. Junior bridesmaids come next. The bridesmaids follow, usually walking in pairs also. When there are very few bridesmaids or an uneven number, they may walk in single file. After the bridesmaids comes the matron of honor, then the maid of honor. A flower girl and finally the ring bearer immediately precede the bride and her father.


Q. Does the bride walk up the aisle on her father's right arm or left arm?
A. His right arm. When she and her father reach the groom, who is standing tothe center right at the head of the aisle, she then will be next to him with her right arm free to be given to him. This also leaves the bride's father in the most convenient position to reach his seat in the left pew afterward.

Q. How long does the father remain at her side after the bride reaches the groom's side?
A. Until the clergyman says' 'Who giveth this woman to be married?" After answering, the bride's father turns and joins, his wife in the pew.

Q. The phrase "giving the bride away" in the wedding ceremony makes me see red. Can you offer an alternative to including the question "Who gives this woman. . . ?" in the wedding ceremony?
A. If you feel so strongly about deleting this question from your wedding ceremony, by all means discuss your feelings with your clergyman. You may find him receptive to your objections and able to offer you an alternative you find acceptable. I know of one young woman whose clergyman replaced the offending question with a very lovely sentiment. At the appropriate place in the ceremony, he asked, "Who represents the families in blessing this marriage?"

Q. Who escorts the bride if she has no father?
A. A brother, uncle, godfather and close family
friend are all excellent choices. Although it is not at all traditional; the bride's mother may serve as escort if that is what would make the bride the happiest. If there are no suitable relatives or friends, it also is. untraditional but acceptable for the groom to escort the bride or for the bride to walk alone. The determining factor is the bride's wishes, after consultation with the clergyman.

Q. What is the order for the recessional?
A. The bride and groom together lead the recessional, followed by the flower girl and ring bearer, walking together. Next are the maid of honor and the best man. The other attendants step forward two at a time and pair off, each usher escorting a bridesmaid down the aisle. When there are more ushers than K bridesmaids, the extra men follow the couples, walking in pairs. If there is an odd man, he walks alone at the end. This is the traditional recessional, although it is acceptable for the wedding party to leave as it entered—bridesmaids together and ushers together—if the bride prefers.


Q. Is it permissible to have a receiving line at the back of the church after the ceremony?
A. Yes, if there is to be no reception, or if there are I ig many more guests at the ceremony than there will be § at the reception, the bride and groom may stop and greet their guests at the back of the church. This is never done if the majority of those present are going on to the reception. The receiving line, in order, consists of the bride's mother, the bride, the groom and the bridesmaids. The groom's mother certainly may be included, but the fathers need not stand in the line.

Q. What part do grandparents have in a wedding?
A. A very special part—they are most honored guests. The grandmothers receive a corsage and they are seated directly behind (or next to, if preferred) the parents during the ceremony and they are seated at the parents' table during the reception.

Q. Are all Jewish weddings held in synagogues?
A. Although some Jewish weddings are held in synagogues, they need not be; therefore many are held in hotels, halls or clubs, with the ceremony and the reception in the same place.

Q. Is the attire for the bridal party and guests the same for a Jewish wedding as for a Christian ceremony?
A. Brides and attendants wear almost the same clothing as is worn for a Christian ceremony, although Orthodox brides are always veiled. At Conservative and Orthodox weddings all men must wear yarmulkes or, if the wedding attire is formal, top hats during the ceremony. They may be taken off after a Conservative wedding ceremony but must be worn during both the ceremony and the reception at Orthodox weddings.

Q. Are Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies the same as Reform services?
A. No, they differ in certain aspects. In the first two, the processional is led by the ushers; followed by the bridesmaids. The rabbi comes next, accompanied by the cantor (if one is participating in the ceremony), then the best man and next the groom, walking between his parents. Thé maid of honor follows them, and thé bride, escorted by her parents, comes last.

The ceremony is performed under a canopy called achuppah, sometimes made of flowers but more often a richly decorated cloth. The bride, groom and the two honor attendants stand under the chuppah during the ceremony, as do the parents if it is large enough. Much of the service is conducted in Hebrew.





The bride and groom always lead the recessional. The order of the bridal party may vary, but generally the two sets of parents follow, then the maid of honor with the best man, the rabbi and cantor and finally the bridesmaids and ushers.

The Reform service is usually very, similar to a Christian wedding in arrangement. English is used and the canopy may bè dispensed with. The groom is ushered by his best man, and the bride, is escorted by her father. The order of attendants is the same as in a Christian ceremony. The bride's father, although he escorts her, does not give her away in a Jewish ceremony.

Q. How do Roman Catholic ceremonies differ from Protestant wedding ceremonies?
A. In marriage ceremonies that include participation in a nuptial mass the bridal party is often seated, with the bride and groom seated on two chairs before the altar. There generally is a kneeling bench, and the maid of honor and the best man remain in the sanctuary with the bride and groom. Guests and members of the wedding party may receive Communion during the mass only if they are Catholic, and, while it is preferred that both the best man and maid of honor be Catholic, at least one must be.

If Communion is served during Protestant ceremonies, which occurs very rarely, the bridal party usually remains standing or is seated to the side as guests come forward to receive the sacrament. Otherwise, the processional, the arrangement of attendants during the ceremony, the recessional and the other details are like those for other Protestant weddings.

Q. How does a home wedding-differ from a traditional church wedding?
A. The ceremony itself is exactly the same as it is in church and the order for the processional is, too. The only differences are that, unless the home is a mansion, the number of guests and attendants is fewer and . there is no recessional. After congratulating you, the clergyman steps aside, an usher removes the prayer' bench, if one is used, and your family and friends come forward to offer their best wishes.

Q. What is the order of the processional, ceremony and recessional for a double wedding?
A. Both grooms' ushers go first, followed by the bridesmaids and maid of honor of one bride and then that bride and her father. If the two brides are sisters, the older sister and her attendants are the first irt the processional. After the -first bride and her father, the second bride's bridesmaids follow, then her maid of honor, then the bride and her escort. If the two brides are sisters, the younger sister would be escorted by an older brother or nearest male relative or a close family friend.

During the ceremony, the service is read to both couples, but those points that require responses are read twice. The first bride and groom answer first.
At the end of the ceremony, the first bride and groom leave first, followed by the second bride and groom. The maids of honor follow, walking with the two best men, then the bridesmaids and ushers, in pairs, with the older couple's attendants going first.

Q. How else does a double wedding differ from a single wedding?
A. They don't really differ, other than in the areas mentioned above and in the fact that there are simply more people to arrange. The seating of the parents during the ceremony is more complicated. When two sisters share a double wedding, both grooms' parents must either agree to share the first pew on the right or they must draw lots for it. If the brides are not sisters, their two mothers share the first pew.

At the reception, two separate receiving lines are formed when the brides are not sisters. When they are sisters, their mother—and their father, if he wishes— stand first. Next to them is the first groom's mother, then the first, or older, bride and her groom, followed by the second groom's mother, and then the second bride and groom. Both maids of honor join the line, but not the bridesmaids since the line is already quite long. If the groom's fathers wish to be in the receiving line, they would stand after their wives.

When each couple has many attendants, it is better that they have separate bridal tables, close to or facing each other. Each couple has its own cake, and they cut them one after the other so that each may watch the other's ceremony.

If there are three sets of parents involved, they generally share the parents' table at the reception. If four sets of parents are involved, it is more comfortable to have two separate tables so that grandparents, etc., may be included.

The Place and the Time: Ceremony and Reception

The Ceremony
Unless you plan to be married by a Justice of the Peace, the location of your nuptials should be decided upon with your spiritual needs in mind. Many of you have been brought up in a certain house of worship and this is often an easy choice. But when a conflict of religion exists between you and your fiance, you must carefully work out all the details to meet both of your needs and desires. Try not to let parents pressure you! How you plan to raise your children may assist you in your decision making. Don't hesitate to make ah appointment with the clergy of your fiance's house of worship (or he with yours, depending on what the case may be). You will want to understand everything about the faith you and/or your children will be entering.

When approaching the ceremony site of your choice, have an alternative date in mind, just in case. And when choosing the time of day, if your house of worship is flexible, keep in mind that most function facilities prefer to book two wedding receptions per room on Saturdays. Typically, the first arrival would have the room until 4:30 or 5 p.m. If the facility has a sizable working staff, the evening reception might be given an arrival as early as 6 p.m., although 6:30-7 p.m. is more the norm.

In other words, don't plan your ceremony in such a way that you and your guests have two hours to kill before cocktails.
Obtain from your clergy all requirements and restrictions, in writing if you can. Know what documents of proof you will need, when you will need them, and if premarital counsel is required. And be sure to determine to some degree how long your service will be, so you may quote a fairly accurate arrival time when seeking your reception site.

The Reception
Once the ceremony site has been set, get out the yellow pages and contact every banquet facility within easy or acceptable driving distance of your church. Ask family or friends if they have ever attended a social
function at any of these places. Make note of their likes and dislikes, but always keep in mind that the final judgment rests with you. Besides, if someone makes a negative comment about a particular banquet facility, you can always contact your local Better Business Bureau to inquire if any formal complaints have been lodged against that facility.

When phoning the hotel, restaurant, or function facility, ask to speak with the banquet sales office. Furnish your requested wedding date, arrival time, and estimated number of guests, and ask that all menus and package plans (when available) be mailed to you. Do not hesitate to call the most expensive place in town, or even the one you vowed you'd never have your reception at, because the menus and planners may provide you with ideas you never thought of, as well as handy price comparisons. When calling, you need not commit to anything, or provide your phone number. Just reply politely that you will look over the brochures and get back to them if you're interested. And if any particular place claims to be booked for your requested day or dates, ask for the material anyway, explaining that you are still in the planning stages.

Then sit back and wait. But you shouldn't wait too long. The best banquet sales representatives will get the information out to you that very same day if they know anything about the value of your business!

Decorations: Turning a Bare Hall into a Festive Wonderland

Decorating for your reception can be one of the most intimidating projects you'll tackle for your wedding. Turning a bare hall into a festive wonderland or stamping your own personality on an already decorated banquet hall can be quite a challenge.

First envision the look you want. Do you want a soft Victorian look with pastels or an upbeat contemporary look with black and white? Today's brides are decorating their reception sites as elaborately and elegantly as budgets allow, and with a style and flair unheard of a decade ago.

Renovating your reception site can be as simple or elaborate as you like. Barring any restrictions on decorating, it is possible to achieve any unique look within your budget. Make sure you ask plenty of questions at the reception site before you select any decorations

When you select a reception site, it is essential that you find out what items the site has on hand and what items you will need to provide. There are many local party rental and decoration companies to service your reception needs.

Don't choose decorations that will clash with your reception site. A fancy ballroom might be overwhelmed with too many decorations or a bare hall might come alive with a little creative decorating. For a garden wedding use a more casual country theme than a reception in a grand ballroom.

Add lively touches with little white lights, greenery, fabric bunting, cascades of ribbons, floral garlands and topiary trees. Don't forget about the bridal, cake and gift tables. Use multilayered table linens, pinned up with bows, in your wedding colors to make them stand out.

Try doing something a little different with ice sculptures. It's a sure way to add an elegant touch. Find out if your reception hall creates ice sculptures or if you need to hire someone to bring it in. Many sculptors will let you make up your own personalized design to customize the sculpture to your wedding. Ask the sculptor about special bases, accent lighting, and pick up and delivery times. The sculpture should be set up about an hour before your reception starts to assure that it won't start melting too soon. Also have the sculptor get in touch with your florist to coordinate the ferns and flowers at the base of the sculpture with your other floral decorations.

Use your imagination to create table centerpieces. Use mirrors, flowers, balloons, floating candles, anything that enhances your tables and the mood you want to create.

Rental companies are a good source of ideas when it comes to decorating your site. Most of them will have items that you'd love to have for your wedding but just can't afford to buy, such as silver candelabras, china, lovely stemware, or color-coordinated linens. Some other popular choices are:

• Arches
• Canopies
• Gazebos
• Guest book stands
• Aisle runners
• Wishing wells
• Chairs
• Tables
• Platforms
• Flatware
• Champagne fountains
• Portable bars
• Dance floors
• Table Skirting
• Serving equipment

Keep in mind that a rental company can do much more to set the tone of your reception than simply provide extras. For example, the china and flatware will complement each other and the total mood of the reception. If you've always liked the romantic look of lace tablecloths, a rental company can give you several patterns from which to choose.

Tents are becoming increasingly popular as another alternative to a rented hall or church. With the beautiful parks and historic areas in Northeast Ohio why not have your ceremony or reception in a tent? Tents are not what they used to be. With new technology they come with chandeliers, hardwood floors, arches, bathrooms, air conditioning and heating. Your rental company can answer any questions you may have.

If the tent is in your backyard contact your homeowners insurance to get insured for one or two days while the tent is up. If it's on public property, make sure they carry the necessary insurance.

Having an outdoor ceremony or reception? Renting a tent in case of rain is a smart idea.

When selecting a rental company, discuss in detail the total color scheme and style of your wedding. Encourage suggestions. The experts should have lots of good ideas.

When selecting a rental company, find out if there will be delivery charges, set-up and take-down costs, when the equipment is due back, and who is responsible for cleaning and returning the equipment. Make sure that if you can't get it back on the day that you agreed upon, that you make arrangements with the rental company or they will charge you for every extra day.

Be aware that when your equipment is delivered, it will be unloaded near the truck. Rental companies usually have many deliveries to make before wedding weekends, and they simply don't have the time to move equipment for you unless it is scheduled in advance. If you want it carried into the house or to the back yard you must notify the rental company in advance and there may be an extra charge.

Most companies require a 25% deposit when an order is placed and cash on delivery. During the summer months rental equipment is in high demand, so try to select a rental company at least four to six months in advance. Confirm exact times of delivery and pick-up the week before to be sure you have everything necessary for a successful and memorable day.

If you're not looking for elaborate decorations but still want to dress up your reception hall and give it a party atmosphere, balloons are the right decoration for you. Balloons can economically decorate a larger area than flowers alone, and their possibilities are endless.

Balloon companies can design arches to span doorways and the bridal party table. Balloons also can supplement or replace flowers as center pieces on the guest tables. Scatter balloons on the dance floor to make the place look festive. You might want to consider a balloon sculpture for a unique touch. Ask your consultant about the different ways you can use balloons within your budget to design a creative balloon scheme.

Another new use for balloons are the balloon machines. They can put flowers, teddy bears, almost any decoration you want inside clear balloons for unique centerpieces.

When you order your balloons, be sure to buy enough for consistency in pictures. Ask the consultant to go with you to the site to get a better idea of what you'll need. Balloons come in almost every color possible, so it's easy to coordinate them with your color scheme.

Try to picture the reception site when it is completely decorated. Balloons are a wonderful decorating tool, but be careful not to overdo it. Make it festive, not a balloon jungle.

Besides your reception, don't forget about bridal showers, bachelor parties and the rehearsal dinner. Balloons are a great way to enhance any festive occasion.

Balloon releases are also a popular option for after the ceremony. Instead of throwing rice or birdseed when the couple leaves the church, each guest releases a helium-filled balloon.

Talk to several balloon companies before you decide, and ask plenty of questions. Make sure the company uses balloons made only of natural latex, which is biodegradable and easy on the environment. Also for environmental reasons the balloons should be hand-tied instead of sealed with a metal clip.

Find out what other services the company provides and what their charges are. Are delivery, set-up, and clean-up included? Is there a rental charge for the balloon sculpture frames?

Plan ahead to secure your date with the balloon company. Elaborate decorating will require more time and planning. Most companies usually require four to six months notice.

With a clear picture of what you want in mind and the help of a decorator with an established name who can guarantee quality service, you can achieve the desired look for your reception. This is your opportunity to make your big day truly unique.

The Ceremony: How to Say 'I Do!'

Planning a wedding in the 21 century can be confusing, at best. With so many choices available, from invitation style to the bridal gown, many first-time brides find it easy to get overwhelmed. The myriad of decisions that need to be made by the wedding date deadline seem to grow with each passing day, and the pressure to do everything right can be oppressive.

The wedding ceremony is one area you shouldn't have to stress out about. There are a few traditions that are usually observed, but they are flexible to accommodate today's nontraditional families that result from divorce and remarriage, as well as the growing emphasis on gender equality.

In traditional Christian weddings, the bride's family and friends occupy the left side of the church, while the groom's family and friends sit on the right. The opposite seating arrangement is observed in a Jewish ceremony. In both types of ceremonies, the family of the bride and groom sit closest to the altar.

After all the other guests have been seated, one groomsman escorts the mother of the groom to her seat, and they are followed by her husband. The mother of the bride is then escorted down the aisle by a groomsman so that she is the last person seated.

The groom, best man, and officiant take their places at the altar. At the start of the music, the bridal party begins their processional. It is up to you and your fiance to decide whether the groomsmen should escort the bridesmaids down the aisle, or just wait for them at the altar. Whichever option you choose, the attendants should be lined up according to height, from shortest to tallest.

The maid or matron of honor follows the rest of the wedding party, and the ring bearer and flower girl bring up the rear.

At this point, the guests should all rise in anticipation of the bride's arrival. She is escorted down the aisle by her father, who stands at her right when presenting his daughter's hand to the groom. The ceremony begins when the couple turns to face the officiant.

You and your fiance must decide whether you will recite the traditional vows, or pen your own. Although you have full freedom over what you may say during the ceremony, many people choose the traditional vows for their charm and quaint symbolism. Still, others choose this opportunity to express their love for each other in a uniquely personal way, and find writing their own vows to be an intensely rewarding experience.

Many couples also object to the sentiment expressed in the vows that a wife should "love, honor, and obey" her husband, as though she is his property. The line that proclaims them as "man and wife" is also objectionable, since it labels women as only wives, while men are important people. These lines can easily be changed without sacrificing any of the love symbolized by the wedding vows.

Once the ceremony has ended, the couple is announced by the clergy member, and they begin their recessional, side by side and arm in arm. They are followed by the ringbearer and flower girl, the best man and maid or matron of honor, and the paired groomsmen and bridesmaids.

Any of these customs may be modified to fit you and your fiance's needs. For example, you may choose to have the flower girl and ring bearer sit with their parents after walking down the aisle, since little kids generally have a hard time keeping still.

With the addition of children from earlier marriages, and stepparents from parents' remarriages, the seating arrangements and ceremony procedures can seem confusing. Remember that there are no hard and fast rules -- it is better to make sure everyone you want to include is included, instead of limiting yourself due to some tradition.

Also remember that most people will be willing to set aside their differences for one day, to let you celebrate your wedding without a fight. Be up front and honest with everyone involved from the start, so they know what to expect.

With these guidelines to use as a vague outline, you can design your ceremony to accommodate your needs. The ceremony should be as enjoyable as possible, and not having to worry about sticking to some hard and fast rules will make planning it virtually worry-free.

Creative Ceremony Ideas

The Processional
· Rather than have your back to the guests, change places with the officiant and face your guests.
· At a small, intimate ceremony have the guests join you at the altar or have them join hands encircling you.
· Consider including both sets of parents in the processional.
· Have the groom meet you halfway down the aisle.
· The bride can part from her father by kissing him on the cheek when they reach his seat, then walk alone to meet the groom.

The Ceremony Itself
· Have the officiant ask, “Who blesses this union?” or “Who blesses this marriage?” Have both sets of parents or all the guests join in saying, “We do.”
· Involve children from previous marriages by acknowledging them in the ceremony through special readings, prayers, or the presentation of the “Family Medallion”
· Have a favorite piece of music played or sung during the ceremony, or as you leave, but check with your church or synagogue as to any music restrictions they might have.
· Write your own poem or prayer and read it, or have quotations from a favorite poem or prayer read by the officiant or a family member.

Including Pets in Your Wedding Ceremony

Years from now, when you look back on your wedding day, one of the things that you may remember is that you were surrounded by those who mean the most to you. If you’re an animal lover, and you consider your pet an important part of your family, then you may want to include them in your special day too.

No matter what type of pet you have – a dog, cat, or even a bird – there are meaningful ways to incorporate them in your wedding. Start by checking with your ceremony location on their rules regarding animals. If you’re getting married in a church, pets may not be allowed. The same may even be true of a garden wedding. So, be sure to find out the details before you get your heart set on anything. Also, you’ll need to designate someone to take care of your pet after the ceremony – like bringing them home or to the kennel.

Here are some ideas for ways that Spot, Fluffy and Polly can get involved:

-Here comes the dog: If your ceremony location will allow it, have your dog be led down the aisle on a pretty leash. You can have a bridesmaid, junior bridesmaid or older flower girl do this. Dress your pooch up with a bow around his neck that matches your wedding colors. You can also craft your own festive leash with stain ribbon. Or, for a more formal occasion, you can purchase a doggie-tux or even a doggie wedding dress at pet stores like Petsmart!

-A rose by any other name: If you haven’t already selected a flower girl then why not have your dog do the honor? Again he could be led, or he could walk down the aisle on his own, carrying flowers in a basket. It’s a fun way to have him play a special role!

-With this ring: Have you considered making Spot the ring bearer? It’s easy – just tie a velvet or silk pillow around his neck with the ring placed securely on top. Again, you can have someone escort him down the aisle, or if he is very well-behaved and comes when called, he can walk down alone.

-Here kitty, kitty: If you want to include your cat in your ceremony have a bridesmaid or flower girl walk down the aisle with Fluffy in a decorative basket. Or, if you’re concerned that the cat might be spooked and jump out, then decorate his cat carrier with festive ribbons and flowers. He could be placed at the altar so that he is with you through the entire event.

-Polly want a cracker: Looking for ways to have your parakeet or cockatoo witness your vows? Set up his cage at the altar and have him displayed behind you. This is a great way to add meaning and beauty to your event.

-Set them free: If you don’t have any pets, or would prefer not to include your own, you can always consider having your guests release butterflies into the air as you seal your vows with a kiss. But keep in mind that butterflies can’t stand low temperatures so only consider this option if you are having a spring or summer wedding. For colder temperatures, releasing doves are another option to consider.

If none of these options appeal to you, then consider placing a framed picture of your furry or feathered friend at a special location – like near the entrance or by the guest book. That way they’ll still be there in spirit!

How-to: Create Your Own Wedding Vows

There are so many different ways to declare your wedding vows these days. There is, of course, the traditional vows, which many couples choose. But, for some couples, writing their own vows has become very important. While traditional vows go along the lines of the commitment you are making to each other, it doesn’t always reflect what each is feeling in their hearts.

There are many different categories of vows---non-traditional, 2nd marriages, “family vows” to include children coming into the marriage, vows for older couples, reaffirmation or renewal vows, religious variations, ring vows and vows from the classics such as Keats, Browning, Gibran and other classical poets or playwrights. The art to making your commitment your own is in having a particular passage “speak” to you in some way that helps you tell your intended what you are feeling and why this particular passage makes your intentions clear and heartfelt. Many couples choose to combine the traditional wedding vows and their own vows. Anything you do should be acceptable, however, it is always a good idea to check with whomever is officiating your wedding to make sure that they have no problems with the vows you have chosen. And don’t wait until the rehearsal to do this. Should your officiator have a problem with something, you don’t want to be up all night before your wedding thinking of something else.

There are many internet sites to get great ideas and samples of what to write or include for your own vows including a wonderful section right here.

If you do choose to write your own, always go over your vows with your fiance prior to the wedding. Some brides (or grooms) want to surprise their intended’s with their vows. The reason that surprise may not be a good thing is that you need to keep them in sync with each other. You writing something classic and inspiring from a Shakespearean sonnet and him writing the lyrics from the latest Rolling Stone song are going to sound a little odd. While that song may have “spoke” to him, tell him to get something else to speak to him. If he is “vow blocked”, maybe you could sit down together and go over some favorite poems, songs or other writings together and come up with something you both can live with. Tell him to simply write down what is in his heart. He might surprise himself.

A beautiful keepsake of your wedding would be to have your wedding vows printed on beautiful paper with a beautiful font and framed or, if you know someone handy at ceramics or know someone locally, have them hand painted on a ceramic keepsake “scroll” to put next to a favorite wedding photo in your home. This keepsake will always be a wonderful reminder of the vows you spoke to each other.

Wedding vows, in any form, are the words you speak, before friends and family, of the commitment you are about to make to each other. Whether you choose to stay with tradition, choose your own, or combine the two, your words will echo through your marriage for years to come. Make them beautiful.

Special Ceremony Touches

Sharing Of The Cup

A cup of wine (or other beverage) is symbolic of the cup of life. During the sharing of the cup, both the bride and the groom drink from the same cup, symbolizing their commitment to share all that the future may bring. All the sweetness life’s cup may hold for you should only be sweeter because you drink it together; whatever bitterness it may contain should be less bitter because you share it together

Candlelight Ceremonies

The romantic glow of candlelight can be absolutely breathtaking in evening or late afternoon ceremonies. If this idea appeals to you, you will need to check with proper church authorities to see if this type of ceremony is allowed and what fire regulations will apply, possibly affecting the location and number of candle you may use, have two candle stands decorated with ribbons and flowers on either side of the alter. You may want to complement that with a similar single candle stand at the end of several rows. You can have the candles lit by a pair of users before the ceremony, or have each attendant carry a candle down the aisle to make a dramatic entrance.

If you want additional symbolism in your ceremony, consider having a lit candle on both the bride’s and groom’s side, with a single unlit candle in the center. Once pronounced husband and wife, you each take your respective candles and, with their flames, blending together, light the Unity Candle, joining your lives as one. Whichever type of candlelight you choose to enhance your ceremony, double-check to make sure all candles are securely places in their holders before the ceremony begins.

Other Special Touches

· Incorporate symbolism in some way by carrying a family Bible, handkerchief, or fan that was married by your or the groom’s mother.

· In a church wedding, you can find out about having the church bells rung after you say your vows.

· There are creative alternatives to throwing rice, since rice is harmful to birds, consider throwing birdseeds instead. Dried flower petals and colorful confetti or streamers (in bio-degradable material) are affordable alternatives. Or add some fun by having the guests blow bubbles as the newlyweds leave the church. Sparklers (when carefully used and discarded) can be spectacular for an evening wedding.

· After being pronounced man and wife, add a romantic touch with the centuries-old European tradition of releasing white doves, the symbol of love, unity, and devotion. With a church ceremony, stage the dove release outside. Re-exit the church, and have the doves released as your guests look on. A flock of white doves makes a great alternative to throwing rice, and a spectacular send off. For information on white dove releases, check the wedding section of your phone book’s yellow pages, or call local florists and pet stores. This special touch may not be available in your area.

· Today’s ecology-minded brides, who are looking for new ways to do something special for their weddings and the environment, might consider the newest concept in weddings, and release a dozen of Monarch butterflies. These butterflies are specifically raised for this purpose, then carefully shipped overnight and released into the environment at the proper tine during the ceremony. This not only helps increase out diminishing butterfly population but also adds a dazzling touch to a garden wedding